This is what I love about the blogosphere. I can write about my thoughts and it becomes useful to someone. What’s much more amazing is that people actually appreciate and respect my opinion out here, enough to come back every day to read whatever else I have to say. I’ll be honest with you my dear readers, in the “real world”, right here where I am now, nobody looks up to me. I’m just a burden that people have to carry and I’m nothing of real use.
What’s triggering this sudden depressive mood? Well today I just got my ass handed to me and nobody really listened to what I have to say. I’m the bad person. I’m the stupid guy who never learned anything. I’m the jerk who chooses to just smile and keep quiet even if I’m being told that I’m stupid and lazy. I’m the person who tries not to bother anyone because I know they’re busy too.
As it turns out, I’m stupid when I ask questions, but I’m being disrespectful when I don’t ask questions so nobody would think I never learn. I’m being lazy when I ask for help, but I’m not doing my job right when I try to do everything myself so nobody tells me I’m being lazy. I thought people understood when they told me they knew I’m in a tough situation, but what they really meant was actually that I’m not doing well enough.
I’d bet I’ll get my ass handed to me again sometime tomorrow or the day after after somebody reads this, but the fact is, even if I regret making this public, I don’t care at this moment. Maybe I would care tomorrow, maybe I would care the next day but you can yell at me and tell me how worthless I am right now and I wouldn’t really care.
But then again, if you read my previous post Seven Reasons Why I Wanna Be A Professional Blogger, I guess it can easily be said that I deserve it because I in fact am lazy, and I prefer to act stupid than pretend to be smart.
It’s a messed up existence really. I realized that I really have nothing to my name. I have no money, and I’m indebted so much to some people that I no longer deserve to carry any kind of dignity and my words carry no value. I guess you can make this my number eight reason why i wanna be a pro blogger:
8. I Can Be A Respected Blogger Here In The Blogosphere
I know my real world kind of sucks, and I know I kind of suck in the real world, but still I’d like to believe that I deserve to be respected and to be told that I actually have good use to this world. If I pull this off and be a pro blogger, I can just look at my site stats, respond to my reader’s comments, and count my blog income, knowing that I’m doing some real good in this world and I deserve to be respected.
Sorry my dear readers, I’m just too down right now and I have to vent. If you’re someone in my personal life reading this right now and would very much like to yell at me again, my only request is please leave me with some dignity. At least please let this one go. Feel free to laugh at me tomorrow and every single day for the matter, just don’t ever mention to me that you read this. But then again, if you really wanna prove to me that I deserve no single shred of respect as a human being, then go ahead and give me your best shot. Thank you and I hope I made your day.
Here’s an appropriate song for the occasion: Red Jumpsuit Apparatus – Face Down
Hey there
It pains me that you’re not feeling so hot and fly right now in your life, these ruts can be quite the burden. Plus it pains me to hear anyone talk like that about themselves, so, even though I don’t know you, and I don’t claim to be a professional or an expert or anything, I have some advice I’d like to send your way, take it or leave it.
Whatever it is that you did that seemed to warrant such a reaction from your fellow humans, it is purely their subjective opinion that gave this feedback to you. Who are they to say anything about your existence, when they know nothing (and never will) about your direct experiences in life. And you say you’re lazy, well I say, compared to what, or whom? Someone’s (again) SUBjective opinion on what it means to be a productive human being based on a system which doles out monetary [temporary and illusionary, not to mention completely fake] rewards to people who are able to follow the rules, step in line and be like the flock? I know we all need money to survive, but to what end should we suffer for it? If it makes you feel downtrodden, then I hope you are able to eliminate the value this aspect of life holds for you. A job is a job, a means to an end, it says nothing about who you are and compared to nobody should you ever be. You are you, an entirely unique, beautiful human creature capable of wonders at any moment in the vast void of potential ever flowing around us which we call time. Any descriptor falls short of classifying you, and should trickle off your shoulder as nothing more than a raindrop.
I wish you all the luck, prosperity and glory you could ever need in the coming days as you continue to evolve as a beautiful human being, all wrapped up in the love of the universe around you which cares for you eternally and will give you all you go for and anything you require.
Much love
thank you so much! you don’t know how much you made me feel better! thank you thank you thank you!
Touche. As you inferred, we both got our asses handed to us on a plate on the same day. This is a new day (on which I leave the comment) and I’ve decided to stand up again and get back in the ring. Coming with?
haha just did and i’m writing about it on today’s post!i’m glad you;re keeping a positive attitude towards things. thanks for posting!
An inspiring and candid narrative on a feeling I can relate too. I am the “bad guy” at the moment as well, although for drastically different reasons I would guess. The emotions are not so different though and I appreciate your heart.
Thanks for the comment.i hope all goes well on your end!