This is what I love about the blogosphere. I can write about my thoughts and it becomes useful to someone. What’s much more amazing is that people actually appreciate and respect my opinion out here, enough to come back every day to read whatever else I have to say. I’ll be honest with you my dear readers, in the “real world”, right here where I am now, nobody looks up to me. I’m just a burden that people have to carry and I’m nothing of real use.
What’s triggering this sudden depressive mood? Well today I just got my ass handed to me and nobody really listened to what I have to say. I’m the bad person. I’m the stupid guy who never learned anything. I’m the jerk who chooses to just smile and keep quiet even if I’m being told that I’m stupid and lazy. I’m the person who tries not to bother anyone because I know they’re busy too.
As it turns out, I’m stupid when I ask questions, but I’m being disrespectful when I don’t ask questions so nobody would think I never learn. I’m being lazy when I ask for help, but I’m not doing my job right when I try to do everything myself so nobody tells me I’m being lazy. I thought people understood when they told me they knew I’m in a tough situation, but what they really meant was actually that I’m not doing well enough.
I’d bet I’ll get my ass handed to me again sometime tomorrow or the day after after somebody reads this, but the fact is, even if I regret making this public, I don’t care at this moment. Maybe I would care tomorrow, maybe I would care the next day but you can yell at me and tell me how worthless I am right now and I wouldn’t really care.
But then again, if you read my previous post Seven Reasons Why I Wanna Be A Professional Blogger, I guess it can easily be said that I deserve it because I in fact am lazy, and I prefer to act stupid than pretend to be smart.
It’s a messed up existence really. I realized that I really have nothing to my name. I have no money, and I’m indebted so much to some people that I no longer deserve to carry any kind of dignity and my words carry no value. I guess you can make this my number eight reason why i wanna be a pro blogger:
8. I Can Be A Respected Blogger Here In The Blogosphere
I know my real world kind of sucks, and I know I kind of suck in the real world, but still I’d like to believe that I deserve to be respected and to be told that I actually have good use to this world. If I pull this off and be a pro blogger, I can just look at my site stats, respond to my reader’s comments, and count my blog income, knowing that I’m doing some real good in this world and I deserve to be respected.
Sorry my dear readers, I’m just too down right now and I have to vent. If you’re someone in my personal life reading this right now and would very much like to yell at me again, my only request is please leave me with some dignity. At least please let this one go. Feel free to laugh at me tomorrow and every single day for the matter, just don’t ever mention to me that you read this. But then again, if you really wanna prove to me that I deserve no single shred of respect as a human being, then go ahead and give me your best shot. Thank you and I hope I made your day.
Here’s an appropriate song for the occasion: Red Jumpsuit Apparatus – Face Down